there hasn’t been an epiphany or anything astounding. just…
i’ve decided its time to put the ugly aside and be grateful for what i have. there have been a few changes in our lives lately that i can’t control, some good and some not-so-good. although, it pains me to not be able to control everything, it’s simply not possible. those things that i can’t change lead me to a harsh perspective.
over the years, i’ve taken it upon myself to weed out the negative aspects (some being people) in my life and surround myself with what makes me happy & serene. i have not always made the best decisions, but i do claim full responsibility for all of them. but i can’t accept the sour actions (and those committing them) to be an integral part of my life.
i want peace. i want serenity. and i want my kids to be the happiest they can be. we don’t have family tension. we desperately try to keep our home fun and somewhat carefree.
recently, i’ve been catching up on movies i’ve loved for some time. movies such as ‘p.s. i love you’ and ‘love actually’. they help me come back to a relaxing place in my heart. there are so many things in this life to love and not hold onto bitter feelings of. this is the life i choose for myself and my family. and this mini PSA is that if you can’t bring peace with you into our home and our lives, please stop at the door. no hard feelings, but i just can’t bother with it any longer.
holidays, traditions, family, etc… those are all things that i hold so dearly in my heart. and those are all things that have been subjected to that same ugly. my heart is too important to be put down. my family (immediate and extended) are too valuable to be darkened by a gray cloud.
i’m letting love take over. that may sound a bit corny, that’s fine. its time for another fresh start. we deserve it!
i don’t mean to brag, but here goes. i have, what some may call, a fairytale life. an incredibly attentive & loving husband, two amazing kids, and the life that i would be envious of, if it weren’t mine! i have two of the most insanely wonderful parents. i’ve been surrounded by heartfelt, strong personalities through my upbringing that i would never replace. so, i’m taking this moment to acknowledge every one of them. thank you for everything you’ve brought to my life. without all of it, from everyone, i wouldn’t be who i am today.
i’m cherishing the love now. holding it deep in my heart to pass on to those i love.
(i’m sending more love to my pap. he was a man who loved his family in a somewhat odd way, but we never felt any less. i wish my kids could’ve met you. you’re the best! and thanks for making my dad just like you. he’s just so special!! love you pap. and love you dad.)