As a mom, these are words that we hear countless times a day. We hear them in our sleep, while we’re hiding in the bathroom with the door locked hoping for a few minutes of quiet, we hear them through tears and through giggles. Words that are simply precious, even when we’re tired of hearing them.
When I became a parent for the first time, I had absolutely no idea what I was in for. No book can truly prepare you for this new chapter, because lets face it.. just as every parent parents differently, every child childs differently!
Ultimately, we become consumed with our kiddos lives, well being, how their fed, how they dress, how they behave, etc. that our lives become theirs. We no longer have a birth-given name (technically speaking, we do, but its null and void after giving birth!) that we identify with. We are known solely as Mom. And, lets be honest.. we are oozing with pride in our new role. We have a boss that pays us in squishy cute hugs, slobbery smooches, playful giggles and a forever playmate. We aren’t complaining. We’re on cloud nine!
As much as we adore our boss and take pride in our endless hours of “playtime”, sometimes we have to dig deep to remind ourselves who we once were.
Before becoming a mom, we all had a list. Some may call it a bucket list, some may call it a wish list, but a list (mental or physical) defining where our lives would go. What we hoped to accomplish. Where we dreamed of living. What job we knew we’d conquer. What our dream home would look like. Whatever it was, we had thoughts/dreams/goals for ourselves before becoming a mom.
That’s not to imply that becoming a mom is a regretful thing.. NO WAY!! Its to show that you are a unique individual. Someone with a purpose, an identity. You were someone you identified with once and sometimes through the course of our lives, we lose our way. We lose our identity. We become who everyone needs us to be.. Mom.
From my experience, upon having kids, I made the decision to be a stay-at-home mom. I wanted to be the one who witnessed their first steps, heard their first word, fed them their first solid food. I took attachment parenting very seriously. I co-slept with my kids (okay, I still do!). I know them better than I know myself sometimes. I love it, I really do! But through it all, I was missing something. There was a link between who I was and who I had become that felt off.
I wanted more. I wanted something for myself. Something that only I could do. I had dreams and plans, BIG plans, at one point. They meant so much to me that I knew I had to figure out a way to balance doing my absolute favorite job as a mom while juggling a career. I didn’t know how I’d do it, but I was determined to make it happen.
I knew what I was passionate about. I knew that writing, which was once a hobby, was about the only thing I really wanted to do with myself. And, selfish or not, I wanted a career that afforded me the ability to work from home (or wherever I chose). I didn’t have a plan. I had no idea how I’d make it a marketable, successful venture, but I was not willing to give up or accept ‘No’ as an answer.
Just as my position as CEO/Caregiver/Booger Wiper/Dinner Maker/ Grocery Shopper/ Taxi for the Underage/Booboo Healer/Bike Riding Teacher was my current MOST VALUABLE JOB TITLE EVER, I knew there was a different one that was calling my name.
Say it with me.. I CAN DO BOTH!! Because if I can do it, so can you!
I’ve kept no secret about how my journey began, the twists and turns, and how the path to discovery has made such a hugely positive change in my life. Its been interesting, intense, and a learning experience that I never saw coming, but I’m so glad it did.
Don’t lose yourself in everyone else. The hardest part to swallow is realizing that you deserve a break, you deserve to have something for yourself AND the kids and husbands will be okay!! You’re not dropping the ball. You’re preserving your sanity and regaining yourself.
Its all good! Just have faith!